View source for Squires of Deez Nuts

== Squires of Deez Nuts ==
Each member of [[Deez Nuts]] was assigned a squire by their faction in [[Session 52 - Nuts Deep and the Turnip Wagon Ambush (2026-07-12)|Session 52]] — level-1 retainers intended to staff and run '''[[Nuts Deep]]''' rather than adventure with the party ("we're not just going to have a party of 12 or 13 characters. That'll be ridiculous."). They got their baptism of fire far sooner than planned: the '''Battle of Nuts Deep''' ([[Session 53 - The Battle of Nuts Deep (2026-08-09)|Session 53]]) put every one of them on the walls against a [[Cult of the Dragon]] undead assault. Three went down; one died and was revived. All survived the day, and all are now '''level 2'''.

By default the squires are '''parked at Nuts Deep''', executing the bastion's work — hiring, restoring, crafting support — and each is the starting helper for their PC's chosen facility.

=== The roster ===
{| class="wikitable" style="width:100%;"
! Squire !! PC !! Faction / origin !! What we know
|-
| '''Will''' ("Whippoorwill")
| [[Gootcha]]
| [[Harpers]], placed out of [[Baldur's Gate]]
| A warlock — casts '''Eldritch Blast''' (10 damage into the S53 dragonborn) and '''Armor of Agathys'''. Hard first day: downed by a wyrmling's 28-damage lightning breath, potion-revived by Gootcha, downed ''again'' by the necromancer's negative-energy sphere. Gootcha's advice after his lucky first hit: "''Don't try to be a hero.''"
|-
| '''Henrietta'''
| [[Shade]]
| [[Zhentarim]], from the [[Baldur's Gate]] gates
| Human — Shade's deliberate pick ("reparations"). Downed by the necromancer's negative-energy sphere in S53; recovered after the battle.
|-
| '''Spurt the Kobold'''
| [[Keyleth]]
| [[Emerald Enclave]] (wilds cell)
| An auto-generated name Keyleth refuses to change. A little caster — his 5-damage magic missile made the S53 necromancer stop and stare ("''Are you serious?''"). '''Killed''' by the negative-energy sphere (7 max HP), and '''revived after the battle''' by Keyleth's Cure Wounds — after she briefly forgot he was dead ("I've been stepping over him" — Xanphina).
|-
| '''Diana'''
| [[Karma]]
| [[Emerald Enclave]] (wilds cell)
| Steady under fire: shoved off the 15-foot inner tower by a skeleton archer in S53 (8 falling damage), got up, ran to back up [[Carl]] ("Carl, I'm your backup"), and threw daggers at the necromancer from the tower top.
|-
| '''V'''
| [[Xanphina]]
| [[Order of the Gauntlet]], [[Elturel]] guildhouse
| A gnome '''artificer''' — knows ''Cure Wounds'', ''Tasha's Caustic Brew'', ''Catapult'', ''Sanctuary'', plus ''Mending'' and ''Prestidigitation'' — who inexplicably carries a '''pistol''' ("''I didn't make this character!''" — Amber; "''She stays strapped'''" — Baelgrum). The DM has ruled the firearm will be swapped out (no firearms at this table). In S53 her low center of gravity beat a shove attempt cold, and her Cure Wounds put 11 HP back into Carl. Xanphina has not yet formally met her in-fiction; her background is Amber's to invent.
|-
| '''Rogar''' ("Ro-Ro")
| [[Baelgrum]]
| [[Elturel]]'s light-temples
| A '''dragonborn paladin''' with a shield — and, the [[Dawnbringers]]' Banneret sensed, a genuine follower of Lathander. In S53 he bodyguarded [[Karma]] (+2 AC as a physical blocker), cast '''Sanctuary''' on her, and his breath weapon finished a skeleton soldier. '''Joining the [[Dawnbringers]] alongside Baelgrum''' — it was Baelgrum's one condition of membership. Baelgrum reserves the right to demote him back to "Ro" depending on performance; after S53, "Rogar" stands.
|}

=== Mechanics ===
* Squires roll their own initiative and act on a shared default count; their players direct them loosely in combat.
* They are '''level 2''' as of S53 (leveled after the battle — "they'll at least get more hit points so they hang around longer next time"). They will stay low-level for a while.
* They do not make death saves on-screen: a downed squire is down until someone brings them up.

=== Appearances ===
* [[Session 52 - Nuts Deep and the Turnip Wagon Ambush (2026-07-12)]] — assigned
* [[Session 53 - The Battle of Nuts Deep (2026-08-09)]] — first battle; leveled to 2

[[Category:NPCs]] [[Category:Rise of Tiamat]] [[Category:Campaign]]